Paranormal Activity 3 = unmitigated lameness

paranormal activity 3 screencap

The face of unmitigated lameness.

On one hand I give the Paranormal Activity franchise a lot of credit. It’s made oodles of money with the simplest of gimmicks. Perhaps even more impressively, it’s proven people will pay good money to watch a movie where nothing much actually happens.

I had the misfortune of watching Paranormal Activity 3 the other night. Actually, in the interest of full disclosure I should qualify that. I watched part of Paranormal Activity 3 the other day

I gave up at about the half hour mark. Mostly because nothing much had happened, unless you can count a spring-loaded wife as a plot point. Granted there were some bits about a kid talking to her “imaginary” friend, and at one point some dust did fall on something that could possibly be construed as a ghostly shape. But at the end of the day it takes more than a couple scare chords and an ambiguous video artifact to offset a half hour of unmitigated lameness.

Is it fair to bash a movie I gave up on a third of the way through?

Absolutely.

A horror movie can be many things. Boring is not one of them. In order to be boring a horror movie must fail on a fundamental level. Other examples of things that were fundamentally flawed:

Fortunately, watching Paranormal Activity 3 does not directly threaten one’s financial security or personal well-being. It’s just not very much fun. In fact, about the only fun I had during Paranormal Activity 3 was trying to convince my girlfriend we could make a better sex tape than the couple in the movie (she didn’t go for it). Also realizing director Ariel Schulman is the brother of that guy from Catfish.

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